You know exactly how to get to the "Ghost Tracks" from anywhere in town.
You've never been to the Alamo.
You think a health drink is a Margarita without salt.
You think being able to read the Taco Cabana menu makes you bilingual.
You used to live in a neighborhood you wouldn't even drive through now.
There has been a road crew on your street since before the Alamodome was built.
You remember when Crossroads Mall used to be called Wonderland.
You know all about the "Dancing Diablo" and the "Donkey Lady" bridge.
Your subwoofer has twice the value of your car.
You have three rodeo outfits but never have been on a horse
You're an expert with the brake pedal, but you have no idea what a blinker is.
Your idea of culture is wearing a Hard Rock T-shirt.
You think the last supper was at Mi Tierra restaurant.
You do your grocery shopping at a flea market.
You think local politicians are crooks, but you still do not vote.
You have a "Selena Lives" bumper sticker on your car.
You care if San Antonio is in the "national spotlight".
A formal occasion is getting a glass with your longneck.
You believe Tacos, barbecue, tequilla, and beer are the four basic food groups.
Your White mother learned how to make Tamales & Menudo from your neighbors.
You know the "real" definition of FIESTA is "stay home if at all possible".
You have ordered Mexican food at a Chinese restaurant.
You had breakfast tacos at Taco Cabana on Christmas morning.
You're elementary field trip was to the Butter Crust Bakery.
You complain about San Antonio on a daily basis, but you can't imagine living anywhere else.
You complain about how cold it is when the temperature dips below 70.
You had a birthday party at Kiddie Park.
You have had nightmares about the giant cowboy boots in front of North Star Mall.
Your idea of a tropical vacation getaway is Port Aransas.
You get defensive when your friends from Austin talk about the great show they saw last night.
You think a flash-flood warning means 'go drive through a low water crossing.'
You think the exit ramp is your own personal lauch pad.
You get annoyed when tourists ask for 'fa-jite-as.'
You could care less about the Rodeo but never miss the Cowboy Breakfast.
You don't have to look at the menu when you order at Bill Miller.
You have never, ever called this city 'San Antone.'
You know who plays in the Gucci Bowl.
You ever had an elephant ride at the zoo.
You remember Fiesta Texas before Six Flags bought it out and now you hate it.
You remember when the Quarry was just that...a quarry.
You remember when Loop 410 was the outskirs of town.
You think the local newsanchors are celebrities.
You've been behind one of the Spurs in line at HEB or sat next to them in a restaurant, and had a perfectly normal conversation.